点评:Selva Madre fixed my heart, my brain, and the connection between the two… they accomplished in one week what years of western medicine and talk therapy could not. Here’s how it happened. I arrived in the Iquitos airport, when I walked out there was a driver waiting for me with my name on a sign. The ride they arranged was a comfortable car, that’s impressive, because 99.9% of the vehicle in this town are motor bikes or tuk tuks. After a short ride from the airport, I was dropped off at the river side, where I met one of the three shaman I would be working with. Luis jr. helped me with my bags, and we hopped on a river boat together. We took short 15 minute ride up the river, and he gave me a brief explanation of the area. One we arrived in his village we took a 5 minute tuk tuk ride to Selva Madre.
I arrived after lunch had been served, so after they showed me my private cabin, they made me lunch. The first ceremony began a few hours later at dark. I went to the temple, and the shaman started with singing and prayers. They blessed each dose, and handed them out to the 4 people attending the ceremony. Then they blew out the the candles in the center, everyone laid back and the room was silent for around 20 minutes. Then the chanting and singing began. The songs were beautiful and seemed to have a connection to the medicine. My first ceremony was a positive, easy experience and it felt like I got years worth of therapy in a short time, the medicine took me directly to the trauma from my childhood I needed to unpack and process, and told me exactly how to feel about it, and what lessons I should take from it.
After a refreshing nights sleep in the my jungle cabin, I woke up and headed to breakfast. The other people from the ceremony sat and talked about our experiences in an informal way, we journaled, and the cooks even turned on the wifi hotspot from their phone so I could check in with my family and let them know I made it to the retreat safely. The property has no electricity or internet otherwise. After breakfast a visit to an animal rescue facility was arranged for me, after that it was time for a healthy lunch. At nightfall, I went to the second ceremony. This experience was not as easy or as positive, as the night before, it left me confused, and frankly a little disappointed. I was wondering if I made the right decision to come here, and if the money I spent was worth it.
I woke up on day 3 still feeling a bit confused. I went to breakfast, talked about my experience, journaled, and got some much needed rest after traveling and back to back ceremonies. By lunch I was starting to have some perspective about the previous nights experience. I trusted the process even if I didn’t understand it. Today I wouldn’t have a ceremony, instead I would have a big dinner… there are no dinners served on ceremony nights, as purging is part of the process and the medicine works best on an empty stomach.
On day 4 I spoke to Luis Jr about my last experience. He explain to me that every ceremony has a different purpose, and they call on different entities to guide the medicine. The first night was for healing healing body, the second was the emotions (that explained the bad experience) and the 3rd was the most important, it was to heal the mind. At nightfall I arrived to the temple, and I asked Luis Jr if I could take a larger dose than normal, he checked my pulse and made a quick assessment, and told me yes. We went thru the normal ceremony, and when the medicine hit, it hit like a train, I saw so many spirits, that looked like cartoon characters, for lack of a better description. They were showing me things, and even though I was in a other dimension, I could think perfectly clearly, and my thoughts were not private, they were a conversation with the spirits, when I said the correct thing, the smiled and gestured in approval, when I said the wrong thing the wagged a finger, or the colors of the room would change to a dark and more sinister tone. I went through every aspect of my life that had been plaguing me for years, one bye one the spirits and I figured everything out. there were a couple things I didn’t want to do, so I tried to negotiate with the spirits, but at the end I knew in my heart, I knew what I needed to do, once I got home I would need to have tough conversations with loved ones. After I worked through everything, I sat up and the shamans came to me and chanted for me, fanning me with a bundle of leaves that they used as a musical instrument to keep the rhythm. In that moment I knew I was healed. I saw the medicine fixing my heart and mind, and the connection between the two. I could see it fixing the pieces that were missing. I felt whole again.. I can’t express the gratitude and happiness I felt in that moment. I have been looking for relief for so long.
The following morning Luis Jr picked up the group, and took us to another animal rescue, took us to see the amazon river, the local dolphin, and their sacred tree. That night was my 4th and final ceremony. I was tempted to skip it because I thought I had got everything I came for already, but again, I trusted the process, and the medicine. The head shaman Don Luis told me before the ceremony, that I would be taking a normal dose again. I was expecting a positive experience filled with happiness and gratitude… That is not what I got! Once the medicine kicked in, I only saw sinister and dark creatures. I felt gross and confused. The medicine was holding up a mirror to me and showing me how I had been living my life wrong, and how I had become a piece of sh*t. It was a difficult experience, I wanted it to stop. I felt an unbelievable amount of shame, and embarrassment. But I needed to experience it, so I can make the changes I want to make in my life.
The week I spent at Selva Madre was a blessing, I believe in god now, if a plant in the jungle has that much consciousness, there must be a higher conciseness than me.
I would recommend Selva Madre to anyone that is prepared for this experience, if you truly trust the process and medicine, it will show up for you. However, not everyone at the retreat shared my experience. Some people wanted it to be something it wasn’t, and they didn’t have an openness to the experience, and they had a terrible time. One other thing I will say, is if you are looking for western phycological support, this is not the place for you. Some retreats offer aspects of western therapy as well as the traditional medicine and ceremony… Selva Madre offers an authentic tribal family shamanic experience and does not incorporate any aspects of western medicine.
翻译:塞尔瓦马德雷疗养院修复了我的心脏、我的大脑以及两者之间的联系……他们在短短一周内就完成了多年西医和心理治疗都未能做到的事。事情是这样的:我抵达伊基托斯机场,走出机场时,一位司机举着写有我名字的牌子在等候。他们安排的是一辆舒适的轿车,这令人印象深刻,因为在这个城市里,99.9%的交通工具都是摩托车或嘟嘟车。从机场出发,短短的车程后,我被送到河边,在那里见到了三位将要与我合作的萨满中的一位。路易斯二世帮我拿行李,然后我们一起上了河船。我们沿着河向上游行驶了短短15分钟,他简单地向我介绍了一下周围的环境。到达他的村庄后,我们乘坐5分钟的嘟嘟车前往塞尔瓦马德雷疗养院。
我到达时午餐已经结束了,所以他们带我参观了我的私人小屋后,就为我准备了午餐。几个小时后,天黑了,第一次仪式开始了。我去了神庙,萨满先唱起了歌,做了祈祷。他们祝福了每一剂药,然后分发给了参加仪式的四个人。接着,他们吹灭了中央的蜡烛,大家躺了下来,房间里静静地待了大约二十分钟。之后,吟唱和歌声响起。歌声优美动听,似乎与药效有着某种联系。我的第一次仪式体验轻松愉快,感觉就像在短时间内接受了多年的心理治疗。药效直接把我带到了童年创伤的根源,让我得以解开和处理这些创伤,并准确地告诉我应该如何面对它,以及我应该从中汲取哪些教训。
在我的丛林小屋里睡了个好觉之后,我醒来去吃早餐。其他参加仪式的人围坐在一起,轻松地聊着各自的经历,我们写日记,厨师们甚至打开了手机的Wi-Fi热点,让我可以和家人联系,告诉他们我平安到达了静修中心。除了这里,这处房产没有电也没有网络。早餐后,我被安排参观了一家动物救助中心,之后享用了一顿健康的午餐。夜幕降临,我参加了第二次仪式。这次体验不如前一晚轻松愉快,让我感到困惑,坦白说,还有点失望。我开始怀疑自己来这里的决定是否正确,以及我花的钱是否值得。
第三天醒来,我仍然感到有些迷茫。我吃了早餐,和别人聊了聊我的经历,写了日记,并在旅途奔波和连续参加仪式后好好休息了一会儿。到了午餐时间,我对前一晚的经历开始有了些许理解。即使我不理解,我也相信这个过程。今天我不会参加仪式,而是会享用一顿丰盛的晚餐……仪式之夜不提供晚餐,因为排毒是整个过程的一部分,而且药物在空腹时效果最佳。
第四天,我和路易斯·小谈起了我上次的经历。他向我解释说,每次仪式的目的都不同,他们会召唤不同的灵体来引导药物的作用。第一晚是为了疗愈身体,第二晚是为了疗愈情绪(解释了之前的糟糕经历),第三晚最为重要,是为了疗愈心灵。夜幕降临时,我来到了神庙,问路易斯二世是否可以服用比平时更大的剂量。他检查了我的脉搏,做了个简单的评估,然后同意了。我们按照惯例进行了仪式,药物的药效来袭时,感觉就像被火车撞了一样。我看到了许多灵体,用一个不太恰当的词来形容,它们看起来像卡通人物。它们向我展示着一些东西,虽然我身处另一个维度,但我的思维却异常清晰,我的想法并非私密,而是与灵体的对话。当我说出正确的话时,它们会微笑并做出赞许的手势;当我说错话时,它们会摇摇手指,或者房间的颜色会变得阴暗诡异。我逐一与灵界沟通,梳理了多年来困扰我的方方面面,最终理清了所有问题。有些事情我不想做,所以我尝试与灵界协商,但最终我内心深处明白,我知道自己该做什么。回家后,我需要与亲人进行一些艰难的对话。一切结束后,我坐了起来,萨满们来到我身边,为我吟唱,并用一束树叶为我扇风,他们用树叶作为乐器来保持节奏。那一刻,我知道我痊愈了。我看到药物正在修复我的身心,以及两者之间的联系。我看到它正在填补我缺失的部分。我感觉自己又完整了。我无法用语言表达那一刻的感激和喜悦。我寻求解脱已经太久了。
第二天早上,小路易斯接上我们,带我们去了另一家动物救助中心。他们带我们去看了亚马逊河、当地的海豚,还有他们的圣树。那天晚上是我参加的第四次也是最后一次仪式。我一度想放弃,因为我觉得我已经得到了我想要的一切,但我还是相信了这个过程和药物。首席萨满唐·路易斯在仪式开始前告诉我,我会再次服用正常剂量。我期待着一次充满快乐和感恩的积极体验……但事实并非如此!药物生效后,我看到的只有邪恶黑暗的生物。我感到恶心和困惑。药物就像一面镜子,映照出我过去的生活方式有多么错误,以及我是如何变成一个废物。这是一次艰难的经历,我希望它停止。我感到难以置信的羞耻和尴尬。但我必须经历这一切,这样我才能做出我想要的改变。
我在塞尔瓦马德雷度过的那一周简直是恩赐。我现在相信上帝了。如果丛林里的植物都拥有如此高的意识,那么一定存在着比我更高的意识。
我会向任何准备好体验这种经历的人推荐塞尔瓦马德雷。如果你真正信任这个过程和药物,它就会显现出来。然而,并非所有参加静修的人都和我一样。有些人期望它变成别的样子,他们对这种体验不够开放,结果度过了糟糕的时光。还有一点需要说明,如果你在寻找西方的心理疗法,这里并不适合你。有些静修中心会提供一些西方疗法以及传统药物和仪式……而塞尔瓦马德雷提供的是原汁原味的部落家庭萨满体验,不包含任何西方医学的成分。