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Ryan I
An Expensive Way to Bore Yourself to Death
Veranstaltung Traumatica In D-rust的点评
点评：My fiance recently returned from her fourth time visiting the attraction and came back just as disappointed as we were together two years ago so I thought I would actually share my thoughts rather than leave this note on my phone.
“Traumitica” absolutely lives up to its promise and delivers a barrage of experiences you will remember… but for all the wrong reasons.
From the moment we arrived, we were greeted by a security officer with a passion for rule enforcement, He seemed to take great delight in taking my fiancés water (which she needs to take her medication) and complete indifference with our request to keep it with us. He was unwavering in his mission to uphold the rules with a level of joy unmatched by the entire rest of the experience.
Once inside, a thick, blinding fog descended on us, setting the stage for a four-hour descent into sensory deprivation and boredom. We decided to get a little feel of the arena and walked around to find our bearings.
It’s worth mentioning at this point that this is actually our third year visiting this attraction. The first time we had standard passes and I can safely say that the most traumatic experience was the length of time we had to queue.
Our VIP “Shockster” passes promised to eliminate queuing and heighten the experience, and indeed, we dodged 255 minutes of lines. Each attraction clocked in at about 4 to 5 minutes – each one more anticlimactic than the last.
The Hill was our first stop. As we breezed past the 1,000-unfortunate souls in the 55 minute queue thanks to our VIP Shockster passes (an absolute steal at €100 compared to the standard €40), we were so relieved we didn’t have to wait and get straight into the action. But what actually happened in The Hill? I genuinely couldn’t tell you. It was such an unremarkable experience that my brain kindly erased it, leaving my memory as blank as the expressions on the actors’ faces.
After the hill, we went to the murder dome and actually decided to queue for the 15 minutes rather than waste one of our 7 “shockster” passes in case we wanted to use it later to go on anything twice. Spoiler alert we gave it away at the end of the night which is something I’ll detail later.
The Murder Dome teased a thrilling shoot-‘em-up experience but we found ourselves holding guns with nothing to aim at and no score to aim for, a few minutes of walking for the the gun to back on the shelf as you unceremoniously carry on along your way.
Parched and thoroughly underwhelmed, we went for a drink. For a €2 deposit, we could’ve kept the cups, but – in keeping with Traumatica’s spirit – they were so dull we opted for the refund. The best part? Hardly anyone was in line for drinks, as they were all busy queuing for “attractions.”
By the time we reached the Tarot House, the attractions had already merged into a single monotonous blur of dim lighting and jump scares that might, on a good day, startle a napping kitten. If there’s an opposite to excitement, it lives here.
By the time we used our fourth pass in Studio 13, we’d saved 190 minutes of queueing, which to be honest is the absolute best part of spending the extra money. The most traumatic experience is really how long you have to spend waiting.
After that, we went for a burger, which was absolutely fantastic and actually spoiled the consistency of the trauma we were experiencing by actually being a little bit of a highlight. But then it was back to the thrill of averting thrills, as we braved Unknown – an attraction aptly named, as it seemed no one involved in its creation had a clear idea of what it was meant to be.
It was at this point we thought we were going to leave but desperately clinging to any hope of joy, Surely, a Pikachu plush would turn the night around! we tried to win a Pikachu toy on the claw machine. having a machine which is designed to disappoint you seems of fitting tribute to the theme of the event.
We spoke to two people who also had the same VIP passes as us, but they already had only used one and were thinking of going home. Another random guy approached me and asked if I wanted to buy his last pass which I would imagine was a recurring theme throughout the evening.
As we left, we decided to give away our last passes to other poor souls, hoping to save them 50 minutes of standing in line – if only to offer them five minutes of concentrated disappointment. But Traumatica had one final surprise waiting: as we exited, my fiancée tripped over an unmarked box and sliced her hand open as if the cherry on top of this overpriced, underwhelming sundae.. Traumatica truly lived up to its name, delivering a trauma of wasted euros, wasted hours, and a firsthand lesson in lackluster safety.
The ultimate masterclass in dull and overpriced trauma. If excitement has an opposite, this place embodies it. 0 stars but 10/10 on living up to its name.
“Traumitica” absolutely lives up to its promise and delivers a barrage of experiences you will remember… but for all the wrong reasons.
From the moment we arrived, we were greeted by a security officer with a passion for rule enforcement, He seemed to take great delight in taking my fiancés water (which she needs to take her medication) and complete indifference with our request to keep it with us. He was unwavering in his mission to uphold the rules with a level of joy unmatched by the entire rest of the experience.
Once inside, a thick, blinding fog descended on us, setting the stage for a four-hour descent into sensory deprivation and boredom. We decided to get a little feel of the arena and walked around to find our bearings.
It’s worth mentioning at this point that this is actually our third year visiting this attraction. The first time we had standard passes and I can safely say that the most traumatic experience was the length of time we had to queue.
Our VIP “Shockster” passes promised to eliminate queuing and heighten the experience, and indeed, we dodged 255 minutes of lines. Each attraction clocked in at about 4 to 5 minutes – each one more anticlimactic than the last.
The Hill was our first stop. As we breezed past the 1,000-unfortunate souls in the 55 minute queue thanks to our VIP Shockster passes (an absolute steal at €100 compared to the standard €40), we were so relieved we didn’t have to wait and get straight into the action. But what actually happened in The Hill? I genuinely couldn’t tell you. It was such an unremarkable experience that my brain kindly erased it, leaving my memory as blank as the expressions on the actors’ faces.
After the hill, we went to the murder dome and actually decided to queue for the 15 minutes rather than waste one of our 7 “shockster” passes in case we wanted to use it later to go on anything twice. Spoiler alert we gave it away at the end of the night which is something I’ll detail later.
The Murder Dome teased a thrilling shoot-‘em-up experience but we found ourselves holding guns with nothing to aim at and no score to aim for, a few minutes of walking for the the gun to back on the shelf as you unceremoniously carry on along your way.
Parched and thoroughly underwhelmed, we went for a drink. For a €2 deposit, we could’ve kept the cups, but – in keeping with Traumatica’s spirit – they were so dull we opted for the refund. The best part? Hardly anyone was in line for drinks, as they were all busy queuing for “attractions.”
By the time we reached the Tarot House, the attractions had already merged into a single monotonous blur of dim lighting and jump scares that might, on a good day, startle a napping kitten. If there’s an opposite to excitement, it lives here.
By the time we used our fourth pass in Studio 13, we’d saved 190 minutes of queueing, which to be honest is the absolute best part of spending the extra money. The most traumatic experience is really how long you have to spend waiting.
After that, we went for a burger, which was absolutely fantastic and actually spoiled the consistency of the trauma we were experiencing by actually being a little bit of a highlight. But then it was back to the thrill of averting thrills, as we braved Unknown – an attraction aptly named, as it seemed no one involved in its creation had a clear idea of what it was meant to be.
It was at this point we thought we were going to leave but desperately clinging to any hope of joy, Surely, a Pikachu plush would turn the night around! we tried to win a Pikachu toy on the claw machine. having a machine which is designed to disappoint you seems of fitting tribute to the theme of the event.
We spoke to two people who also had the same VIP passes as us, but they already had only used one and were thinking of going home. Another random guy approached me and asked if I wanted to buy his last pass which I would imagine was a recurring theme throughout the evening.
As we left, we decided to give away our last passes to other poor souls, hoping to save them 50 minutes of standing in line – if only to offer them five minutes of concentrated disappointment. But Traumatica had one final surprise waiting: as we exited, my fiancée tripped over an unmarked box and sliced her hand open as if the cherry on top of this overpriced, underwhelming sundae.. Traumatica truly lived up to its name, delivering a trauma of wasted euros, wasted hours, and a firsthand lesson in lackluster safety.
The ultimate masterclass in dull and overpriced trauma. If excitement has an opposite, this place embodies it. 0 stars but 10/10 on living up to its name.
翻译：我的未婚妻最近第四次游览了那个景点，回来后依旧和我们两年前去时一样失望。因此我觉得与其只在手机上记下感想，不如把真实想法分享出来。
“Traumitica”确实名副其实——它带给了游客一连串令人难忘的体验……不过都是些糟糕到令人难忘的体验。
从我们抵达的那一刻起，便有一位热衷于执行规章的安全人员迎面而来。他似乎以拿走我未婚妻的水（她需要用水服药）为乐，而对于我们希望把水留在身边的请求则完全漠不关心。他坚定不移地执行着规则，那种乐在其中的劲头在整个体验过程中无人能及。
一进去后，浓重得令人睁不开眼的雾气便笼罩了我们，为随后四个小时感官剥夺与百无聊赖的时光拉开了序幕。我们决定先熟悉一下场馆环境，便四处走走以确定方位。
值得一提的是，这其实是我们第三年参观这个景点了。第一次来时我们买的是普通门票，可以肯定地说，最糟糕的经历就是排队的漫长时间。
这次我们购买了VIP“Shockster”通行证，它承诺能让我们免排长队并提升游玩体验。事实上，我们确实省去了255分钟的排队时间。每个项目的体验时间大约为4到5分钟——而且一个比一个缺乏高潮与惊喜。
“山丘”是我们参观的第一个景点。凭借着价值100欧元的VIP通行证（相比原价40欧元的普通门票来说绝对物超所值），我们轻松绕过了排了55分钟队、足有1000人的队伍。我们松了一口气：终于不用等待就能直接开始体验了。不过，在“山丘”上到底发生了什么呢？说实话，我完全说不上来。那是一次平淡无奇的体验，以至于我的大脑贴心地把它抹去了，留给我的记忆就如同那些演员们面无表情的脸庞一般空白。
翻过小山后，我们来到了“谋杀圆顶”游乐设施处。我们决定排15分钟的队，而不浪费手头上7张“震撼体验券”中的一张——毕竟我们可能之后还想用它来再次体验该项目。剧透一下：到了当晚结束时，我们把那张券送人了，具体情形我稍后会详细说明。《Murder Dome》原本承诺会带来一场刺激的射击体验，但现实却是：我们手里拿着枪，却完全没有可射击的目标，也没有任何得分目标可追求。走了几分钟后，我们只能把枪重新放回架子上，继续漫无目的地前行。
又渴又失望的我们决定去喝杯东西。只要支付2欧元的押金，就能留下杯子；不过——为了契合Traumatica的主题氛围——那些杯子实在乏味至极，于是我们还是选择了退款。最有趣的是：几乎没人排队买饮料。当时大家都忙着排队等候体验那些“娱乐项目”。
当我们到达塔罗牌屋时，那些娱乐项目早已变成了一片单调乏味的景象——昏暗的灯光加上偶尔出现的惊吓效果，就算在状态最好的时候，也顶多只能吓醒一只正在打盹的小猫罢了。如果说有什么能与“刺激有趣”背道而驰的话，那就是这里了。
当我们在13号摄影棚使用第四张快速通行证时，我们已经省下了190分钟的排队时间。说实话，这绝对是花钱买特权最值得的地方。最折磨人的经历其实就是需要等待的漫长时间。
之后我们去吃了汉堡，味道简直棒极了；这一美妙的体验反倒稍微冲淡了我们所经历的“痛苦体验”的氛围。不过随后我们又重新回到了那种“努力避免刺激”的紧张状态中——我们开始体验一个名为“未知”的游乐项目。这个名字起得恰到好处：因为似乎所有参与设计的人都搞不清楚这到底是个什么样的项目。就在那时，我们以为自己要离开了，但又拼命抓住哪怕一丝快乐的希望——肯定有个皮卡丘毛绒玩具能扭转这糟糕的夜晚吧！于是我们试图在抓娃娃机里赢得一个皮卡丘玩具。设置一台专门让人失望的抓娃娃机，似乎也算是对活动主题的一种恰到好处的致敬了。
我们和另外两个人聊过，他们也持有和我们一样的VIP通行证，不过他们只用过一次，正打算回家呢。又有一个陌生人走过来，问我是否想买下他手头最后一张通行证。我想这种情况在整个晚上应该屡见不鲜吧。
离开时，我们决定把最后几张通行证送给其他倒霉蛋，希望能帮他们省去50分钟的排队时间——虽说最终也只会让他们体验五分钟彻头彻尾的失望罢了。不过Traumatica还留着最后一个惊喜在等着我们：就在我们准备离开时……我的未婚妻被一个没有任何标识的盒子绊倒，手被划破了一道大口子——这简直就是这个定价虚高却毫无亮点的“冰淇淋甜品”上的那颗“樱桃”吧。Traumatica这个名字可真是名副其实：它给我们带来了金钱的浪费、时间的浪费，还有一次关于安全举措形同虚设的血泪教训。
绝对堪称“乏味又昂贵的创伤体验”的典范。如果“刺激”有个反面，那这个地方就是它的化身。评分：0星；但就名副其实这一点而言，可以打10分。
“Traumitica”确实名副其实——它带给了游客一连串令人难忘的体验……不过都是些糟糕到令人难忘的体验。
从我们抵达的那一刻起，便有一位热衷于执行规章的安全人员迎面而来。他似乎以拿走我未婚妻的水（她需要用水服药）为乐，而对于我们希望把水留在身边的请求则完全漠不关心。他坚定不移地执行着规则，那种乐在其中的劲头在整个体验过程中无人能及。
一进去后，浓重得令人睁不开眼的雾气便笼罩了我们，为随后四个小时感官剥夺与百无聊赖的时光拉开了序幕。我们决定先熟悉一下场馆环境，便四处走走以确定方位。
值得一提的是，这其实是我们第三年参观这个景点了。第一次来时我们买的是普通门票，可以肯定地说，最糟糕的经历就是排队的漫长时间。
这次我们购买了VIP“Shockster”通行证，它承诺能让我们免排长队并提升游玩体验。事实上，我们确实省去了255分钟的排队时间。每个项目的体验时间大约为4到5分钟——而且一个比一个缺乏高潮与惊喜。
“山丘”是我们参观的第一个景点。凭借着价值100欧元的VIP通行证（相比原价40欧元的普通门票来说绝对物超所值），我们轻松绕过了排了55分钟队、足有1000人的队伍。我们松了一口气：终于不用等待就能直接开始体验了。不过，在“山丘”上到底发生了什么呢？说实话，我完全说不上来。那是一次平淡无奇的体验，以至于我的大脑贴心地把它抹去了，留给我的记忆就如同那些演员们面无表情的脸庞一般空白。
翻过小山后，我们来到了“谋杀圆顶”游乐设施处。我们决定排15分钟的队，而不浪费手头上7张“震撼体验券”中的一张——毕竟我们可能之后还想用它来再次体验该项目。剧透一下：到了当晚结束时，我们把那张券送人了，具体情形我稍后会详细说明。《Murder Dome》原本承诺会带来一场刺激的射击体验，但现实却是：我们手里拿着枪，却完全没有可射击的目标，也没有任何得分目标可追求。走了几分钟后，我们只能把枪重新放回架子上，继续漫无目的地前行。
又渴又失望的我们决定去喝杯东西。只要支付2欧元的押金，就能留下杯子；不过——为了契合Traumatica的主题氛围——那些杯子实在乏味至极，于是我们还是选择了退款。最有趣的是：几乎没人排队买饮料。当时大家都忙着排队等候体验那些“娱乐项目”。
当我们到达塔罗牌屋时，那些娱乐项目早已变成了一片单调乏味的景象——昏暗的灯光加上偶尔出现的惊吓效果，就算在状态最好的时候，也顶多只能吓醒一只正在打盹的小猫罢了。如果说有什么能与“刺激有趣”背道而驰的话，那就是这里了。
当我们在13号摄影棚使用第四张快速通行证时，我们已经省下了190分钟的排队时间。说实话，这绝对是花钱买特权最值得的地方。最折磨人的经历其实就是需要等待的漫长时间。
之后我们去吃了汉堡，味道简直棒极了；这一美妙的体验反倒稍微冲淡了我们所经历的“痛苦体验”的氛围。不过随后我们又重新回到了那种“努力避免刺激”的紧张状态中——我们开始体验一个名为“未知”的游乐项目。这个名字起得恰到好处：因为似乎所有参与设计的人都搞不清楚这到底是个什么样的项目。就在那时，我们以为自己要离开了，但又拼命抓住哪怕一丝快乐的希望——肯定有个皮卡丘毛绒玩具能扭转这糟糕的夜晚吧！于是我们试图在抓娃娃机里赢得一个皮卡丘玩具。设置一台专门让人失望的抓娃娃机，似乎也算是对活动主题的一种恰到好处的致敬了。
我们和另外两个人聊过，他们也持有和我们一样的VIP通行证，不过他们只用过一次，正打算回家呢。又有一个陌生人走过来，问我是否想买下他手头最后一张通行证。我想这种情况在整个晚上应该屡见不鲜吧。
离开时，我们决定把最后几张通行证送给其他倒霉蛋，希望能帮他们省去50分钟的排队时间——虽说最终也只会让他们体验五分钟彻头彻尾的失望罢了。不过Traumatica还留着最后一个惊喜在等着我们：就在我们准备离开时……我的未婚妻被一个没有任何标识的盒子绊倒，手被划破了一道大口子——这简直就是这个定价虚高却毫无亮点的“冰淇淋甜品”上的那颗“樱桃”吧。Traumatica这个名字可真是名副其实：它给我们带来了金钱的浪费、时间的浪费，还有一次关于安全举措形同虚设的血泪教训。
绝对堪称“乏味又昂贵的创伤体验”的典范。如果“刺激”有个反面，那这个地方就是它的化身。评分：0星；但就名副其实这一点而言，可以打10分。
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