点评:I don’t quite know where to start with this unmitigated house of horror, but would like to make it clear from the outset that in no way do I intend to exaggerate what a disgusting, putrid, filth pit this place is. Please do not be distracted by the slightly humorous tone I will write in, it’s just that if I don’t laugh about what I experienced in there, my fear is that it will haunt me for the rest of my natural life. At the risk of sounding like an appeal video…if this review prevents just one family from suffering the MISERY that we were subjected to, it will be have been worth it.
Let’s begin…
Upon arrival at the building, it was only by squinting intensely at the faded, worn out, tired looking sign, that we could confirm that we had indeed arrived at Castle Mania. On hindsight, this served as a warning shot and was a sign of things to come (pun intended). If only we’d walked away at that point. We chose to remain optimistic however, and ventured inside, still hopeful of having a pleasant experience.
Hope quickly turned to horror, as having paid at the desk, we entered through the gate, and made our way to the designated baby area, with our 1 year old in tow. At first glance, the area was big enough, with an array of activity tables , walkers and jumpers available for use. However, the absolute state of these things just cannot be adequately communicated using words alone. I’ll try my best though.
Each item was filthy, with black grime around the edges and layers of dust on top. The fabric areas on the toys were in dire need of a shampoo, balls that had escaped from the ball pit with who knows what stuck to them, and frankly there was nothing suitable of being within a 50m radius of, let alone letting our son play with.
It’s worth pointing out at this point that we stopped here in the middle of a 4 hour drive, as somewhere our son could stretch his legs for a bit, and have some lunch before we set off for the next leg of our journey. Had we had an alternative in the vicinity, we’d have left immediately. We chose to try and navigate it as best we could though, which, looking back, we feel was a crazy decision, but this place was a complete attack on the senses, no wonder we weren’t thinking straight.
In all seriousness though, everything was filthy, in a way that left us fearing the worst for days afterwards, at the first sign of a cough or sniffle, thinking “we’ve caught something at that filth pit”.
After surviving the ordeal that was the soft play, it was a case of cleaning ourselves up, having our lunch (which thank goodness we brought with us) and getting out of there. Easier said than done though, because the toilets were not far off from being as grim as all the other facilities. Again, with hindsight, I actually wish we’d spend more time in the toilet, and less time in that baby soft play area.
Dear me, so disappointing, I literally cannot imagine who is choosing to return to this place, other than to confirm that it wasn’t some sort of weird dream/nightmare, and that Castlemania is indeed the mankiest place (aside from Celtic Park) in existence.
To confirm- I would strongly recommend avoiding this establishment, unless you have a penchant for misery, or are in the process of writing a horror novel and need some inspiration- in which case, Castlemania will not let you down.
翻译:我不知道该从哪里开始讲述这个彻头彻尾的恐怖之屋,但我想从一开始就明确表示,我绝不会夸大这个地方是多么令人作呕、腐烂和肮脏。请不要被我略带幽默的语气所吸引,只是如果我不笑出声来讲述我在那里的经历,我担心它会困扰我一生。冒着听起来像一个上诉视频的风险……如果这篇评论能防止一个家庭遭受我们所遭受的痛苦,那就值得了。
让我们开始吧……
到达大楼后,我们只能眯着眼睛仔细看褪色、破旧、看起来疲惫的标志,才能确认我们确实到达了 Castle Mania。事后看来,这是一个警告,是即将发生的事情的征兆(双关语)。要是我们当时走开就好了。然而,我们选择保持乐观,并冒险进入室内,仍然希望拥有愉快的体验。
希望很快变成了恐惧,因为我们在柜台付了钱,穿过大门,带着我们一岁的孩子走进指定的婴儿区。乍一看,这个区域足够大,有各种各样的活动桌、学步车和跳跳椅可供使用。然而,这些东西的绝对状况无法仅用语言充分表达。不过我会尽力的。
每件物品都很脏,边缘有黑色污垢,上面有一层层的灰尘。玩具上的织物区域急需清洗,球从球坑里跑出来,不知道上面粘了什么东西,坦率地说,50 米范围内没有任何东西适合,更不用说让我们的儿子玩了。
值得一提的是,我们在 4 小时的车程中途停在这里,因为我们的儿子可以在某个地方伸展一下腿脚,并在我们出发前往下一站之前吃点午餐。如果附近有其他选择,我们会立即离开。但我们选择尽可能地寻找出路,现在回想起来,我们觉得这是一个疯狂的决定,但这个地方完全是对感官的攻击,难怪我们当时没有清醒的头脑。
不过说真的,一切都很脏,以至于我们几天后一听到咳嗽或流鼻涕的迹象,就会担心最坏的情况发生,以为“我们在那个污秽坑里感染了什么”。
在经历了软体游戏的折磨之后,我们只需要清理一下自己,吃午饭(谢天谢地我们带了午饭)然后离开那里。不过说起来容易做起来难,因为厕所和其他设施一样肮脏。再次,事后看来,我真的希望我们花更多的时间在厕所里,而不是花更少的时间在婴儿柔软的游乐区。
天哪,太令人失望了,我真的无法想象谁会选择回到这个地方,除了确认这不是某种奇怪的梦/噩梦,并且 Castlemania 确实是现存最肮脏的地方(除了凯尔特公园)。
确认一下 - 我强烈建议您避开这个场所,除非您有痛苦的倾向,或者正在写一本恐怖小说并需要一些灵感 - 在这种情况下,Castlemania 不会让你失望。