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Bit too busy
Eureka! The National Children's Museum的点评
点评：Came here during’t school holidays. First mistake.
Parked up for £6. SIX. Thank the Lord grandparents were footing the bill. There were 8 of us in total — 4 adults, 4 kids — and approximately 7,000 other people’s feral offspring. It were wall to wall with little snotnoses. We had to queue outside just to get in. Only upside? There were bogs outside. Lifesavers.
When we eventually got through the doors, you couldn’t look at owt without feeling guilty. Stand still more than 12 seconds and you could feel someone’s hot breath on your neck. You’re trying to read a sign about bones and all you’re thinking is, “I can’t be here too long, Sandra and her twins want a go.”
Far too busy. Rammed doesn’t cover it.
The pretend supermarket role play though… what’s happened there then? Kids are being robbed. ROBBED. Modern technology does not need to infiltrate a children’s museum. I remember coming here as a kid — scanning fake tomatoes, tins o’ beans, lobbing them ont’ conveyor belt, slamming buttons on’t till like you worked a Saturday shift at Tesco. Proper experience.
Now it’s automated.
Automated.
Why? Let kids beep the beans.
Café was actually the highlight, which I weren’t expecting. Still busy, obviously. But we somehow bagged a table like we’d won Olympic seating trials. And I’ll say this — the tandoori chicken? Bob on. Credit where it’s due.
Back int museum, ont’ top floor… that’s when I’d had enough. I were staring over the railings calculating angles. Wondering if I could hit the lower deck for a quick, painless exit.
Then, like a voice from heaven, someone whispered:
“Shall we wrap it up then?”
Music to my ears.
We headed for the exit. I told the kids the gift shop were closed. Even played a fire alarm noise off my iPhone for added realism. Parenting level: elite.
Overall? It were alright.
Can’t say I’ll rush back. But we survived. And that’s what counts.
Parked up for £6. SIX. Thank the Lord grandparents were footing the bill. There were 8 of us in total — 4 adults, 4 kids — and approximately 7,000 other people’s feral offspring. It were wall to wall with little snotnoses. We had to queue outside just to get in. Only upside? There were bogs outside. Lifesavers.
When we eventually got through the doors, you couldn’t look at owt without feeling guilty. Stand still more than 12 seconds and you could feel someone’s hot breath on your neck. You’re trying to read a sign about bones and all you’re thinking is, “I can’t be here too long, Sandra and her twins want a go.”
Far too busy. Rammed doesn’t cover it.
The pretend supermarket role play though… what’s happened there then? Kids are being robbed. ROBBED. Modern technology does not need to infiltrate a children’s museum. I remember coming here as a kid — scanning fake tomatoes, tins o’ beans, lobbing them ont’ conveyor belt, slamming buttons on’t till like you worked a Saturday shift at Tesco. Proper experience.
Now it’s automated.
Automated.
Why? Let kids beep the beans.
Café was actually the highlight, which I weren’t expecting. Still busy, obviously. But we somehow bagged a table like we’d won Olympic seating trials. And I’ll say this — the tandoori chicken? Bob on. Credit where it’s due.
Back int museum, ont’ top floor… that’s when I’d had enough. I were staring over the railings calculating angles. Wondering if I could hit the lower deck for a quick, painless exit.
Then, like a voice from heaven, someone whispered:
“Shall we wrap it up then?”
Music to my ears.
We headed for the exit. I told the kids the gift shop were closed. Even played a fire alarm noise off my iPhone for added realism. Parenting level: elite.
Overall? It were alright.
Can’t say I’ll rush back. But we survived. And that’s what counts.
翻译：学校放假期间来的。第一个错误。
停车费6英镑。6英镑！谢天谢地，爷爷奶奶付了钱。我们一共8个人——4个大人，4个小孩——外加大约7000个其他家长的野孩子。里面挤满了流着鼻涕的小家伙。我们不得不排队才能进去。唯一的好处？外面有厕所。真是救命稻草。
好不容易进了门，你根本不敢看任何东西，感觉很愧疚。站着不动超过12秒，就能感觉到有人在你脖子上呼出的热气。你正努力看清一个关于骨头的告示，脑子里却想着：“我不能在这儿待太久，桑德拉和她的双胞胎也想来。”
人太多了。“拥挤”都不足以形容。
不过，那个假装超市的角色扮演游戏……后来发生了什么？孩子们被抢劫了。被抢劫了。现代科技无需渗透到儿童博物馆。我记得小时候来这里——扫描假西红柿、罐头豆子，把它们扔到传送带上，然后像在乐购超市上周六班一样猛按收银机按钮。那才叫真正的体验。
现在一切都自动化了。
自动化。
为什么？让孩子们自己按豆子按钮吧。
咖啡馆竟然成了亮点，这倒是出乎我的意料。当然，人还是很多。但我们居然像赢得了奥运会选座赛一样抢到了一张桌子。而且我得说——坦都里烤鸡？简直绝了。该夸的就得夸。
回到博物馆，来到顶楼……那时我已经受够了。我趴在栏杆上，琢磨着怎么才能快速轻松地离开。
然后，仿佛来自天堂的声音，有人轻声说道：
“那我们结束吧？”
真是太好了。
我们朝出口走去。我告诉孩子们礼品店关门了。为了让他们感觉更真实，我还用iPhone播放了火警警报声。育儿水平：精英级。
总的来说？还行吧。
我不会急着再去一次。但我们平安回来了。这才是最重要的。
停车费6英镑。6英镑！谢天谢地，爷爷奶奶付了钱。我们一共8个人——4个大人，4个小孩——外加大约7000个其他家长的野孩子。里面挤满了流着鼻涕的小家伙。我们不得不排队才能进去。唯一的好处？外面有厕所。真是救命稻草。
好不容易进了门，你根本不敢看任何东西，感觉很愧疚。站着不动超过12秒，就能感觉到有人在你脖子上呼出的热气。你正努力看清一个关于骨头的告示，脑子里却想着：“我不能在这儿待太久，桑德拉和她的双胞胎也想来。”
人太多了。“拥挤”都不足以形容。
不过，那个假装超市的角色扮演游戏……后来发生了什么？孩子们被抢劫了。被抢劫了。现代科技无需渗透到儿童博物馆。我记得小时候来这里——扫描假西红柿、罐头豆子，把它们扔到传送带上，然后像在乐购超市上周六班一样猛按收银机按钮。那才叫真正的体验。
现在一切都自动化了。
自动化。
为什么？让孩子们自己按豆子按钮吧。
咖啡馆竟然成了亮点，这倒是出乎我的意料。当然，人还是很多。但我们居然像赢得了奥运会选座赛一样抢到了一张桌子。而且我得说——坦都里烤鸡？简直绝了。该夸的就得夸。
回到博物馆，来到顶楼……那时我已经受够了。我趴在栏杆上，琢磨着怎么才能快速轻松地离开。
然后，仿佛来自天堂的声音，有人轻声说道：
“那我们结束吧？”
真是太好了。
我们朝出口走去。我告诉孩子们礼品店关门了。为了让他们感觉更真实，我还用iPhone播放了火警警报声。育儿水平：精英级。
总的来说？还行吧。
我不会急着再去一次。但我们平安回来了。这才是最重要的。
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