Waterfront views, Wallet wounds.
Tarpon Turtle Waterfront Grill的点评
点评:Ever go somewhere just because it look pretty from the outside? Like dating someone with good teeth but bad heart? That’s Tarpon Turtle. 🌴🐢
Yes, views are dreamy. Mai take selfie. Mai look hot. Boat in background. Life is good. But then… you look at menu. And Mai scream inside:
“WHY THIS BURGER COST $17?! IS IT STUFFED WITH HOT MERMAID?!”
If you find yourself poorly choosing to come here on beautiful day for beautiful view and cold brew, and within 5 minutes you think:
Hmmmm...
“Prices little higher than everywhere else…”
“Portions little smaller than everywhere else…”
“Service little slower than everywhere else…”
YOU'RE RIGHT!!! Ding ding ding! Welcome to Turtle Time, baby.
Wait to be seated? Like waiting for DMV but with humidity!
Wait for drink? Like watching ice melt in real time.
By the time Mai get his water, the tide changed.
Food? Honestly—not bad. Some dishes tasty. Mai like shrimp bowl. But nothing taste $29 fancy. For $22 fish taco, Mai expect live mariachi band and table-side dance.
Servers? They nice… just missing. Like magician trick. You see them… then poof! gone until time for check & tip.
Mai’s Tip: Come here on your birthday—when rich auntie pays and you pretend not to see bill. Smile, sip, and enjoy that view while someone else suffers
翻译:有没有只因为外表漂亮就去某个地方?比如和一个牙齿好但心脏不好的人约会?那就是 Tarpon Turtle。🌴🐢
是的,景色美得令人窒息。Mai 来自拍。Mai 看起来很性感。背景是船。生活很美好。但是……你看了看菜单。Mai 内心尖叫:
“为什么这个汉堡要 17 美元?!里面是不是塞满了辣味美人鱼?!”
如果你发现自己在一个美好的一天,为了美景和冰镇啤酒而错误地选择了这里,然后在 5 分钟内你想到:
嗯……
“价格比其他地方高一点……”
“份量比其他地方小一点……”
“服务比其他地方慢一点……”
你说得对!!!叮叮叮!欢迎来到 Turtle Time,宝贝。
等座位?就像等车管所,但还要潮湿!
等饮料?就像看着冰块实时融化。
等Mai去拿水的时候,潮水已经变了。
食物?说实话——还不错。有些菜很好吃。Mai喜欢虾盖饭。但29美元的菜品没什么特别的。22美元的鱼肉玉米卷,Mai期待着现场墨西哥流浪乐队和桌边舞蹈。
服务员?他们人不错……就是少了点什么。就像魔术师变戏法一样。你看到他们……然后噗!就没了,直到结账付小费。
Mai的小贴士:生日那天来这里——有钱的阿姨付账,你假装没看到账单。微笑,啜饮,欣赏美景,而别人却在受苦。